I use to be the typical Asian who pulls of nothing less than an A. The one that does nothing but study, go tutoring, does all her homework, learn materials ahead of everyone else, and study some more. I clearly remember that I was an honor roll student in elementary school. in junior high, I recieved nothing lower than a B and was in honors class. in high school, freshman year I had honors classes and recieved my first C for English but did well in all the other classes with As and Bs. Sophomore year, straight As and held a 4.1 GPA. but as junior year hit, hell broke loose. AP chem and AP calc took a toll on me. the first D and class drop I ever recieved was in AP chem. I loved chem and thought I’d enjoy AP chem; I was fcukn wrong and it screwed me over from getting accepted into good universities. AP calc wasn’t as horrific as chem but it was up there too and got Cs for both semesters. along with those AP classes came the toughest history teacher, bradarich. I made it out with a B first semester thanks to lovely extra credit for canned food drive and a C for second semester because there were no extra credit. my gpa just plummet to 2.8. I just lost motivation from there. no top UC would want me anymore since I have a total of 1D and 4Cs at the end of junior year. and none of them did besides UCR. I always imagined myself being at UCI or berekely or one of those prestige ivy leagues. I worked hard and everything fell apart junior year. that Asian girl disappeared. the lack of motivation made me a slacker, a person who does barely there work, and the I don’t care anymore mentality. Where I stand today is not where I have imagined myself. Going to a universiry where practically every student does the bare minimum and gets accepted. not to be cocky, but i know i deserve to be at a better place than here. I did above average all the way until junior year and to see that determine where I today makes me sad. I disappointed myself and my parents. I expected better of me and so does my parents. Im failing school and uncertain about my major. I’ve always stuck to everything and wouldn’t quit but the fear of failing is what makes me reconsider my current major. I feel like such a failure now and that I won’t be able to live up to my parents expectations. I wish I could go back a few years and redo my half of my high school education. i know that if I could, I wouldn’t be in this predictament. but turnin back time is impossible and things do happen for a reason. the person I today is not the person I imagined three years ago.. .
54 days til my birthday.